please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
