Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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