All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
