Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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