I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's intense
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
