oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
