Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
a search helicopter?!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
