Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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