Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize