Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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