So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
