Having a random hookup so left but love u
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
