my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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