I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
