oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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