He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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