Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
