So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
