my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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