Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
