you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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