you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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