Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
