I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Mom said you looked used
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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