Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
