Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize