She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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