I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
