And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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