Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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