I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
