puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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