I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
