I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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