my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize