Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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