I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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