I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
