lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
