3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
