well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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