shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
