pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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