The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
