We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
