I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize