idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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