They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
