Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
