What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
