My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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