420 ftw
I think I died a long time ago.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize