The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
