her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said her name was "party"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
