I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
