i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
