Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
