If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize