I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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