So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
where does the pee come out of this thing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
